Greetings, Taurus Pups! This is your super-psychic Chihuahua, Hammy, here with your December 2023 bark-o-scope.

With the holiday season in full swing, this month is all about the tantalizing smells wafting from the kitchen and the shiny ornaments hanging precariously on the tree. As a Taurus dog, you’re known for your patience, but that turkey roasting in the oven will test your endurance to its limits. Try to keep your drooling to a minimum, Taurus, and remember – good things come to dogs who wait!

The second week of December will bring some upheaval in the form of a visit from the dreaded Vacuum Monster. Your steadfast nature will help you endure this noisy inconvenience, but your feline siblings might not fare so well – expect some hissing standoffs. There may also be an influx of boisterous human visitors, which could either mean extra belly rubs or a lot of stepping on tails. Either way, keep your tail wagging, Taurus, because every cloud has a silver lining – in your case, it’s the leftover ham that accidentally falls off the dinner table!

As the month draws to a close, the moon in your seventh house of partnerships will spark some sibling rivalry. Remember, Taurus, it’s not about who gets the biggest bone, but who buries it best. Try not to let jealousy over a new squeaky toy ruin your New Year’s spirit. Instead, channel your energy into perfecting your “puppy dog eyes” technique – it’s a surefire way to score some extra treats.

And now, for your lucky lottery numbers: 5, 22, 7, 18, 33, and 12. If these numbers bring your human any luck, don’t forget your favorite psychic Chihuahua happily accepts donations… in the form of kibble, of course!